


Don't

by ObsessedAngel



Series: Dean Needs Cuddles [18]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Feelings, Hurt feelings, M/M, Pining, Plans, Plot, Talking, kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-07-18 09:21:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7309318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsessedAngel/pseuds/ObsessedAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam sets his plan into motion and shoves Dean into the closet. It's not soon after, that Dean comes tumbling back out. With Dean and Cas face to face, will Dean be able to take Sam's advice and actually use his words?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't

**Author's Note:**

> Ayah! Hi guys!! So sorry as always for the wait. But I have a bunch of stuff going on real life! Thanks for reading so far and I hope you'll keep with me til the end. Not much longer now. 
> 
> Just so you know, I always update my profile with a status report of where I am with any given story, if I'm writing or if there is going to be a delay. So check in there if you're ever curious when the new chapter is coming. 
> 
> Thanks so much for everyone reading, kudos, subscribing and commenting! Special thanks:  
> Alexa_Dria   
> Nina  
> Snuffs  
> FoxInDocs  
> Lady_Swiftpaw   
> Mishagasme   
> 8seaWHOREses  
> praksthecellist   
> halfpastgrace   
> Heya_Cassbutt_Apdinof   
> Aleya   
> sans_me  
> lyster99   
> HomosexualTendencies   
> Iris   
> Hannah_ruth_990   
> MadHatterAi   
> trebleofdreams

 

(I couldn't resist this gif. Lol Sorry) 

“This is stupid. I changed my mind.”

“It’s going to work out Dean, trust me.”

Dean shook his head and ran his hands down his face. This was the stupidest plan in the history of plans by far. How did he agree to this? How the hell had Sam even thought of it?

“He’s going to know. Cas isn’t stupid Sam, he’s going to know.”

“Know what? That I’m your brother? You didn’t show him my picture right? You said you never did.”

Dean rolled his eyes, “I only showed him the picture of us on your 8th birthday that’s in my wallet. You deleted all of the pictures off my phone.”

“I didn’t delete them. I uploaded them to my laptop so you won’t lose them if you break your phone again.”

“YOU broke my phone! YOU tackled ME.”

“I’m not doing this with you again. Now shut up and get in the closet.” Sam said pushing him backwards.

Dean sputtered and dug his heels in. “I don’t want to do this. I can’t watch you-”

“Dean have some faith. I’m not really going to sleep with your boyfriend relax.”

“But-”

Sam shoved him again then slammed the closet door in his face and held his finger to his lips signaling him to be quiet. Dean felt his heart slamming in his chest. They’d gotten to the motel an hour earlier than they’d told Cas to be here and they made sure to park the car across the street so Cas wouldn’t see it. The room they’d picked had a closet with a shutter like door so if you were in it you could see out, but if you looked at it, you could only see the wood. Sure if he moved too much they might be able to see SOMETHING, but Cas wouldn’t be able to tell it was a person unless he opened the closet and found him. But still. There were so many flaws to this plan. So many things could go wrong. Seriously, and Sam was supposed to be the smart one? Not only was this stupid but what could it mean for him and Cas in the future? How could he ever look Cas in the face again if he did this? Cas didn’t deserve this. To be lied to and spied on? No. Screw that. Cas deserved better than that. Better than Dean.  He put his hand on the door. He was getting out. He wasn’t going to do this. He made to move when he heard the knock on the door. This was it. It was too late. He was trapped. There was no turning back now. Shit.

 

Castiel fumbled with his keys and tried to gather the courage to knock on the door. He didn’t want to do this. He wasn’t ready. But Gabriel had insisted. After the…well, after Castiel broke things off with Dean, he’d left the motel and barged into Gabriel’s apartment and helped himself to the top shelf whiskey he knew Gabriel had hidden away. Castiel wasn’t usually one to drink, and when he did he never got drunk, but this time was an exception. Hours later and he had still felt broken, that his heart was shattered. So he’d figured he was due for a good drunk fest. So he sat in the living room and had 2 shots before Gabriel came home and found him lying on the couch clutching the bottle for dear life. After a few more shots Gabriel had finally managed to pry from him what was wrong and he’d spilled his pathetic guts. He told him all about how he’d been seeing Dean for months, how much fun it was. How safe Dean made him feel. How much he enjoyed his company. How much he’d fallen for him. Gabriel had listened to him and never once cracked a joke, which was a first. Gabriel was always teasing him over one thing or another. But not this time. He listened and consoled him, promising it would get better. He was genuinely upset for Castiel and hated seeing him heartbroken. He’d even offered to break Dean’s knees for breaking his heart, but it was Castiel who had ended it, not Dean. Castiel had no one to blame for his heartbreak but himself. Then later when Castiel had been puking his guts up, Gabriel had been right next to him the whole time patting his back and telling him stories in a soothing voice to keep his mind off of it. Gabriel loved him and always looked out for him like a brother. Gabriel could be a pain in the ass, but he was Castiel’s best friend for a reason. But there were times he forgot why, like now. It had only been 3 weeks since he broke up with Dean, and yet here he was on a job. He’d tried protesting but Gabriel was adamant about him taking it.

“He asked for you specifically Cassie. It has to be you. Besides, how better to get over Dean then to get under someone new?”

They’d fought about it for a while but eventually Castiel just gave in. God, he didn’t even want to think about “getting under” someone right now. But he was a professional. He’d had sex with plenty of people he didn’t want to in his time, but never feeling like this. Never with his chest hurting this much. But he’d agreed to it, reluctantly, but he’d agreed to it. So there was no turning back now. He clutched his keys in his hand and forced himself to knock. There. No way to go home now. He’d just get this over with. He heard some shuffling behind the door then suddenly the door opened. Castiel blinked. The guy standing in front of him was, well, very tall. He was almost a head taller than him and that was saying something. Castiel was almost 6 foot and this guy still had to crane his head down to look at him. He smiled and stepped aside to let Castiel in. Castiel tried to smile back but wasn’t sure how successful he was. He already felt weird. Like he was cheating, but he wasn’t. He was a professional. He could do this. Maybe if he said it enough it would be true.

“Are you Jackson?” Castiel asked and then could have slapped himself. Stupid question. Who else would he be?

“Yeah. Thanks for coming.” Jackson smiled again and Castiel tried to feel something for that smile. Jackson was an attractive guy. His hair was soft and fluffy, annoyingly so, like he probably got out of bed and didn’t have to do anything but shake it and it was perfect. His eyes were beautiful, a mix of colors, amberish in the middle and a green around that? His face was nice and chiseled, his smile flawless. He was the kind of guy that should leave Castiel drooling. And probably would have before. Jackson was one of the most attractive people to ever call. And yet, Castiel still felt nothing. He looked down at his keys and then fumbled them for a second before shoving them in his pocket. He was surprisingly nervous. He’d done this hundreds of times, and always knew exactly what to say, how to start, but right now he just wanted to run out the door. Jackson shrugged his jacket off and tossed it onto the chair next to him and gestured to the table

“Do you want to talk?”

Talking? Like, sitting down and actually holding a conversation. No. Not again. He shook his head and took his own jacket off and tossed it onto the table next to him. “No thank you. We can just-”

“You just seem a little nervous is all.”

Castiel shook his head again. Even though he was, he’d rather push through it than make this into something other than what it was. He’d never make that mistake again. He took a step toward Jackson but then suddenly froze. He hadn’t noticed before because of the jacket, but Jackson was wearing a light red plaid shirt. Dean had the exact same one. It was one of his favorites, one he’d worn a few times in fact. Castiel attempted to calm his racing heart. He’d known this was going to be hard. He knew it. But he’d never imagined the FIRST guy he met with would have the same fashion sense as Dean. What were the odds? He pushed past his nerves and took a step toward Jackson again.

“So what do you want?” Castiel asked adding a purr to his voice. Trying to be sexy and put on a facade to distance himself. He tried to take another step forward but tripped on his own two stupid feet. Jackson reached forward and caught him before he hit the ground, but his phone still slipped out of his pocket and dropped to the floor.

Jackson righted him, without even trying to cop a feel, which was new, and bent down to pick up Castiel’s phone. He glanced at it; probably to make sure it wasn’t cracked and paused.

“This your boyfriend?” He asked and Castiel’s face flamed. He snatched the phone out of Jackson’s hand and grabbed his coat, shoving it into the pocket quickly. He’d seen it? Damn that was embarrassing. Even though he’d know he shouldn’t he couldn’t help himself. Months ago he’d taken a picture of Dean leaning against the doorway in only his boxers and a fresh red hand print on his shoulder. Castiel’s handprint. And he’d been so entranced by the image of Dean like that, so relaxed, so content, so sexy, that he was constantly looking at it. But since Dean was always picking up his phone to put on Netflix he couldn’t do anything with it. After Castiel ended it, he’d had a weak moment where he’d just wanted to see Dean again. So he put it as his wallpaper. And he didn’t care what that said about him, or that he shouldn’t have done it, or that he wouldn’t get over Dean like this, he still hadn’t taken it down. But now a complete stranger had seen it. Someone else had witnessed his weakness. Had intruded on their private moment. He straightened from the table and turned around again, fake smile in place.

“Enough about me. Why don’t we focus on you?” He quickly walked the two steps between them and pressed his lips to Jacksons trying to cut off anymore conversation. He couldn’t handle it if he asked anymore about Dean. He was already close to the brink as it was. There was just something about Jackson that reminded him of Dean. He couldn’t put his finger on it. It’s not that they looked the same, but it was more of the way they carried themselves. Jackson had the same quiet strength and confidence that he’d seen Dean exhibit. Well, when Castiel wasn’t going out of his way to make Dean blush. Jackson lifted his hand to Castiel’s shoulder and Castiel barely suppressed a cringe. God everything reminded him of Dean. Hell, the guy even smelled like him! He didn’t know what to do. He just stood there and hoped Jackson would take over the kiss. Usually that’s all these things took. The guys called for a reason, and most of the time they were willing to take the lead and all Castiel had to do was just play along. But surprisingly Castiel had barely had his lips on him for 15 seconds when just as quickly as Castiel had kissed him, Jackson pulled back and gently pushed Castiel away from him. He took another step back and Castiel saw he was blushing.

“I, ah, well, um, I didn’t expect…that.” He stumbled over his words and Castiel just looked at him. Didn’t expect-

“Oh.” He could have smacked himself. “Oh! I’m sorry. You don’t do kissing? Ok. Sorry. My fault, I just thought…” He didn’t always kiss his clients either. Actually more often than not he didn’t. If they kissed him then he kissed back, but he didn’t usually initiate it. He’d just gotten so used to kissing Dean, gotten so used to the tenderness that accompanied sex that he’d acted on instinct. And the fact that Jackson reminded him SO much of Dean was not helping. He was confused. He didn’t want to do this. But a part of him wanted to be closer to him, if only to pretend. To soak up his smell, to curl his hands in his shirt and just pretend. God he was a mess. He really wasn’t ready to be back.

“Hey. Listen. Uh, can you sit for a second?” Jackson asked and Castiel just nodded dumbly. What else could he do? He sat down on the bed and folded his hands in his lap. He had no idea what to do anymore. Dean had ruined his expectations of sex. He couldn’t remember what sex with a stranger even felt like anymore.

Castiel held up his hands and tried apologizing. “I’m sorry if I made it weird. Just tell me what you want and we can do things your way.” It wasn’t Jackson’s fault that Castiel was acting like a virgin and messing everything up. He deserved better.  

Jackson shook his head and scrubbed a hand down his face. “No. No, it’s me who’s gonna make it weird. I just, I want you to promise that you’ll listen okay?”

Uh, “Okay?” Castiel said completely baffled. He’d never had an encounter begin this way before.

Jackson nodded determined and stalked over to the closet. He grabbed the handle and turned back to Castiel.  “I’m sorry for lying to get you here.”

Before Castiel could start to panic at what was going on with that cryptic sentence. Jackson swung the closet open and out fell Dean.

 

Dean had been trying to stick as close to the wall as possible for fear of being seen but that all went out the window when Sam jerked the door open. Dean had been holding himself up with the frame of the door, but he slipped when the door opened and he went tumbling face first onto the carpet. What the hell was Sam thinking!

“Bitch!”

Dean looked up quickly and Cas was just sitting on the bed looking like a deer in headlights. Dean felt his face flaming. He’d known this was a stupid plan all along but now he wanted to die. What was Cas thinking? What would he say?

“Hey. Come in.” Sam said and Dean looked up to see him on the phone with someone. When had he pulled out his phone? Probably when Dean had face planted. The door to the motel burst open and a guy Dean had never seen before was strutting through holding a phone to his own ear.

“Gabriel?” Cas asked shocked and Dean just blinked. This was Gabriel? As in GABRIEL?

“What the hell is going on?” Dean asked and Cas nodded.

“I’d like to know too.”

Gabriel slid his phone into his pocket and grinned at Cas. “We’re here to save you from yourselves.”

“I don’t understand?” Cas said and Dean nodded. That made two of them. He realized he was still on the floor and pushed to get up. Sam offered his hand but Dean smacked him away. He was a little pissed at his brother at the moment. He’d kissed Cas. True, if he was being fair, Cas kissed him, and it had lasted like 5 seconds, but still. He got to his feet and glared at Sam.

“What’s going on?”

Gabriel crossed the room and cupped Cas’ cheek in his hand then pinched. “Remember New York? How you owe me? I’m cashing in now. I want you to stay in the this room for at least an hour-”

“Two. Dean’s stubborn.” Sam said and Gabriel nodded.

“Two hours then and TALK about things.”

Cas looked from Gabriel to Dean then to Sam. “Your name isn’t Jackson is it?”

“Sorry. I’m Sam.”

Cas’ gaze slid back to Dean and he winced. “He’s my brother.” He offered and Cas’ eyes widened and he jumped to his feet.

“Your brother? You were paying me to fuck your brother? While you watched?” He rounded on Gabriel and shoved him. “And you were in on it?”

“No! He wasn’t going to sleep with you!” Dean said but he didn’t know what else to say, he hadn’t wanted to do this, but that didn’t change the fact that he’d let Sam shove him in a closet.

“You were in a closet Dean!”

Sam stepped up toward Cas, hand on his heart. “This is my fault. I lied to Dean to get him here. I knew he wouldn’t come otherwise. And Gabriel said this was the best way to get you here too.”

Dean blinked then glared at Sam. “You lied to me? You’ve been planning with…what, him?” He said gesturing to Gabriel. Gabriel winked at him.

“Damn right. We knew the two of you needed to TALK so we tricked you to get you together.” Gabriel pulled a lollipop out of his pocket and ripped the wrapper off.

Dean shook his head. “But you said you were going to-”

“Dean you kept saying this plan was stupid. That’s because it wasn’t the real plan. You really think I’d make out with your boyfriend just to show you he kissed me differently?”

Cas crossed his arms and glared. “I am NOT his boyfriend.”

“But you want to be.” Gabriel said and Cas turned his glare on his friend.

Dean’s head was spinning. “So wait. What the hell is going on?”

“You and Castiel are going to sit in this room and talk about everything. You’re going to REALLY talk about things. No macho posturing bullshit. Just be honest. With each other and yourselves.” Sam said and Gabriel just nodded, grinning. He walked over to Sam and nudged him with his elbow.

“Listen to the gorgeous mountain man.”

Dean shook his head, “How do you two even know each other?”

Gabriel grinned, “Well your bother called and asked for Cassie. He asked if he could pay in cash and I said ‘No’ because we’ve had bad experiences with that. So when he finally relented and gave me his credit card I recognized ‘Winchester’ right away since your name popped up so often. So I started asking very politely if you were related-”

“More like badgering.” Sam mumbled but he was smiling. Gabriel stuck his tongue out at him.

“So then we started talking and he finally told me his plan to get you guys talking. I knew he couldn’t pull it off without me so I selflessly offered my services.”

“Ha!” Castiel finally piped up and Gabriel then stuck his tongue out at Cas. Was he a two year old?

Dean couldn’t really believe what was happening, that this was real. His brother had conspired with Castiel’s best friend to get them into the same room together. To talk? What was that going to accomplish? He looked over at Cas who looked just as confused as him. Suddenly he stood up from the bed and shook his head.

“I’m leaving.”

Dean wanted to reach out. Say something to make him stay. Anything. Turns out he didn’t have to. Gabriel stepped in front of Cas and shoved him hard back onto the bed then turned and grabbed Cas jacket off the table.

“You’re staying here. I’m taking your keys so unless you really want to walk home stay here until we come back for you. Just TALK to him. It’s not going to kill you.” He held his hand out to Sam and wiggled his fingers. “Come on Gigantor, let’s leave them to talk.”

Sam seemed like he was suppressing a laugh and turned to Dean and patted his shoulder. “Talk to him man. Use your WORDS, for once. Just, tell him what you told me.” Sam walked up and Gabriel grabbed Sam’s hand and tugged him toward the door.

“You didn’t mention on the phone that you were as tall as a tree.”

Sam did laugh then. “Problem?”

Gabriel shook his head and wiggled his eyebrows. “I’ve always been good at climbing trees.” They shut the door on Sam’s laugh and Dean was left in the quiet with an equally confused Cas just staring after them. Was Gabriel flirting with his brother? And Sam didn’t seem to mind it. He looked to Cas again who finally managed to shake out of his daze and crossed his arms as he sat up on the bed.

“So.”

“So.”

It was quiet between them. Neither knowing really what to say. Cas was finally the one to brave the silence. “Dean, what’s really going on here? Why would your brother even do this? Why would he go to all this trouble? He got Gabriel involved. Gabriel!”

“Yeah, that I was not expecting.”

“And what were you expecting?” Cas asked glaring at him.

Dean rubbed his neck guiltily. “I…I don’t even know honestly. Sam had said he was just going to show me that you acted different with other people than you do with me.” Dean held his hands up and pleaded for Cas to believe him when he said, “I swear to God I wasn’t being a pervert or anything. Trust me; I would NEVER want you to be with my brother. Let alone want to watch. I tried a hundred times to call this whole thing off, but Sam wouldn’t let me. I guess because he knew all along that his plan was to force us together to talk.”

“Why would it matter how I act with other people?” Cas asked and shit, there it was. Dean could kill Sam for making him do this. He really could. Dean took a deep breath and walked over to the table and plopped himself into a chair.

He ran his hands down his face and sighed. “Can I just apologize first? For this whole thing? For me? And for Sam? I just…I don’t want you to think that we were trying to play you, or that we were taking advantage. Sam SWORE to me that he was only going to talk to you. He NEVER had any intention of making a move or anything. I know that this still seems creepy and that I went along with it, but I just don’t want you to think that-”

“Dean.”

Dean shook his head. “Please Cas. Just…let me apologize to you. You deserve that much.”

Cas stood up from the bed and sat himself in a chair across from Dean at the table. “Alright.”

“You…shit…” He finally had Cas’ attention and he didn’t even know where to begin. What should he say? “You’re a good person. And I’m sorry we tricked you. I won’t pretend I’m innocent here. Sam may have lied about his plan, but I agreed to it anyway. I’m so sorry-”

“Dean. It’s fine. I mean, I’m a hooker. You paid me, so even if your brother did-”

Dean slammed his hands on the table and glared at Cas. “Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what? Remind you what my job is? You’re the one who paid me to come here. We BOTH know who I am.”

“That is NOT who you are.” Dammit. He’d told Cas before he saw him as more than that. That he wasn’t just his job. He was a good person. Kind. Generous. Heartfelt. “Cas you’re so much more than that to me.”

Cas shook his head, “Don’t. Just don’t.” Cas held up his hand and closed his eyes. He seemed like he was in pain. He finally looked back up at Dean. “Don’t make this into more than what it is.”

“And what do you think this is? Because I sure as hell don’t know. You don’t have to forgive me but I wish you’d let me finish apologizing. You deserve that.”

“Why? Why do you care? I ended it Dean, you don’t owe me anything, and you never did.”

Dean wanted to punch something. “I owe you everything! Cas, you did so much for me, things I can never even explain. You may have started out as a “hooker” but you ended as my friend. I still care about you. And if this stupid plan made you feel like I don’t appreciate you as the person you are then I’m sorry. If it made you think I don’t respect you, I’m really sorry. If you think I only see you as a warm body that I can pay for, then I’m so fucking sorry you can’t even know. Because you have NEVER been that to me. You’ve always been more than that. You have to know that.” Dean reached out to Cas’ hand but he pulled it away. That hurt and he swallowed down his disappointment. He deserved that. This idiotic plan had hurt Cas. Dean sat back and shoved his hands between his knees and stared at his hands. Cas was quiet and Dean figured it was time for him to be quiet too.

“I’m not…I’m not mad at you.” Cas finally said and Dean whipped his head up so fast he felt his neck crack.

“What?”

Cas’ blue eyes flipped up to his. “I’m not mad at you Dean. I don’t think you set out to make a fool out of me or anything. You’re not a bad person. You’ve never been deceitful or malicious. So I believe you when you say nothing was going to happen. I’m just confused. I don’t know why you would bother to make any plan at all. Why do this in the first place? Why come back?”

This was it. The moment of truth. Did he have the guts to actually say what he was feeling? Could he be honest with Cas and himself? Could he take that final step? If he did he’d be exposing everything, setting himself up for another fall if Cas rejected him. Cas had left him before, it was entirely possible he would do it again no matter what Dean said. But if he didn’t try he’d never know. He would never even have a chance. Sam had given him this opportunity and he wouldn’t waste it. He wouldn’t waste any more time. He would finish this. One way or another. He took a deep breath and then another. His heart was racing and the room suddenly felt to hot. He shrugged his own jacket off, stalling more than anything. Then finally he forced himself to look Cas in the eye.

He opened his mouth and said the words he’d been keeping in his heart. Words he’d never said to anyone else before. “Because I’m in love with you.”


End file.
